How to Drink Like a Gentleman

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Here’s the thing, ideally, a gentleman never gets drunk because a gentleman should never lose control of his faculties. Now, that is definitely easier said than done!

Table of Contents
  1. 8 Practical Drinking Tips
  2. Outfit Rundown

Drinking, and by that, I mean alcoholic beverages, can be a pleasure, a social expectation, or tricky at times because it may damage your reputation. For example, the office holiday party almost always produces some gossip because some people like to drink too much. The same goes for weddings or business dinners, you do not want to be the guy that ruins the evening for everyone or be responsible for not closing the deal.

I certainly have been drunk before. In particular, there was one instance where I was about 18 or 19 years old, it was at a party and I drank a lot, I passed out and I could not remember a thing anymore. But when I talked to my friend the next morning, he told me that I had puked on his leg. I have never been as embarrassed before and I never had as much to drink thereafter.

So even if you are not wasted, being intoxicated always has an impact on how you behave and how you are perceived. The truth is, we are never at our best behavior when intoxicated and the potential of long-term regret outweighs the pleasure of one night.

To top it all off, everyone has a smartphone these days and they take photos and videos and they may end up getting to your employer, your mom, or to that uncle who had you in his will. So the main goal of drinking like a gentleman is to enjoy yourselves while still being civil and in full control of yourself.

8 Practical Drinking Tips

Know your limit
Know your limit
Madder Print Silk Tie in Yellow with Red, Blue and Orange Diamond Pattern - Fort Belvedere

Fort Belvedere

Madder Print Silk Tie in Yellow with Red, Blue and Orange Diamond Pattern

A photograph of a Wine Red, Yellow,Blue, Green, Orange Silk Wool Medallion Pocket Square

Fort Belvedere

Wine Red, Yellow,Blue, Green, Orange Silk Wool Medallion Pocket Square

1. Know Your Limit

Everyone has different reactions to the amount of alcohol they drink and it is up to you to know what is acceptable and what is too much. For you, that may mean one drink an hour, maybe you can do more, maybe you can do less. Maybe you will always have to eat something before you drink or maybe you abstain completely.

Assorted Cocktails
Assorted Cocktails

2. Stick With The Classics

Most bartenders will be able to mix up a gin and tonic or an old-fashioned. Moreover, keep in mind, a gentleman drinks his beverage from a cup or a glass, not from the can or the bottle. Personally, my drink of choice is a Manhattan which usually consists of a rye whisky with some vermouth, some bitters, maybe a maraschino cherry and a little bit of an orange peel or grapefruit peel. I love this go-to drink because I had it many times before, I know how strong it is, I know how to pace myself.

Generally, most whiskeys have about the same strength unless they are cask strength and because of that, it is best to always order your specific whiskey. I like to have a Manhattan on the rocks with crown royal rye whisky. Now, if the bartender does not have that whisky, ask them what they have and you may come up with something, that is okay.

Pace yourself
Pace yourself

3. Pace Yourself

You are under no obligation to keep up with how much other people are drinking. Ideally, you can establish your own pace and one of the best ways to fend off questions for another drink is to simply have your glass half full. If you don’t want to drink at all, that is totally fine. You may be on a prescription medication, you don’t drink for religious reasons, or you just don’t feel like it today. If you still do not want to explain yourself all the time while you are not drinking, ideally, just order a lime and soda with some ice ideally in a high ball, that way, it looks like a gin and tonic and nobody will bug you.

Do not give in to peer pressure
Do not give in to peer pressure [Image Credit: BBC]

4. Be Immune To Peer Pressure

Honestly, that is one of the hardest things for most men. Most people love to drink and enjoy doing so in a company and that may mean that they will bug you consistently and you just have to be firm and say NO multiple times if necessary. There is no need to explain yourself, you can just say “No, thanks, I’ve had enough for tonight.”. Simply repeat if required.

Having A Drink
Having A Drink [Image Credit: HBO]

5. Do Not Push Drinks On Others

You may be really into paying this round of tequila shots but not everyone might be into that. It’s fine to offer someone else a drink but if they say no, accept it for what it is, do not tease them, do not ask them again, or make fun of them.

This is just plain impolite
This is just plain impolite

6. Treat Bar Staff With Respect

I know that can be hard if you have been waiting in line for twenty minutes and you feel someone else has cut in and gotten served ahead of you. Keep your composure, wait for the bartender, try to seek eye contact but do not wave with your money, don’t snap with your fingers because that is just rude and impolite. Of course, you should also tip well in line with the social norms in the place you are at. In the US, for example, it is typical to tip 15-20%. In Germany, for example, it is not expected.

Whisky Highball
Whisky Highball [Image Credit: Greatist]

7. Keep Your Hands To Yourself

Drinking will usually relax even the most guarded person’s view on interpersonal space but getting too close to someone or even touching them is a clear indicator that you have had way too much to drink.

A rectangular stainless steel hip flask
A rectangular stainless steel hip flask [Image Credit: Amazon]

8. Do Not Sneak In Your Flask

If you go to a bar to have a drink, don’t sneak in your flask and drink from it. Also, if you are at a whisky, wine, or beer tasting, things are a little different.

In conclusion, drinking like a gentleman means you should not behave in a way that makes you a pain in the *** to others around you. Very simple, isn’t it? What are your drinking pet peeves?

Outfit Rundown

Raphael is wearing an outfit he would typically wear when goes to a nice bar.
Raphael is wearing an outfit he would typically wear when goes to a nice bar.
A photo of a Light Lavender Geranium Silk Boutonniere Lapel Pin Flower

Fort Belvedere

Light Lavender Geranium Silk Boutonniere Lapel Pin Flower

White Linen Pocket Square with Navy Blue Handrolled X Stitch

Fort Belvedere

White Linen Pocket Square with Navy Blue Handrolled X Stitch

Grenadine Silk Tie in Brown - Fort Belvedere

Fort Belvedere

Grenadine Silk Tie in Brown

Shadow Stripe Ribbed Socks Charcoal and Light Gray Fil d'Ecosse Cotton

Fort Belvedere

Shadow Stripe Ribbed Socks Charcoal and Light Gray Fil d'Ecosse Cotton

It consists of a jacket which is petrol blue and double breasted which is part of a suit and it is nice fresco wool combined with a blue and white shirt and a brown grenadine tie. Because the jacket is somewhat loud, I toned down the other colors. That includes a boutonniere that is contrasting but not overly loud as well as a pocket square made out of handcrafted linen in xstitch and it picks up the color of the shirt.

My pants are black and off-white houndstooth that is combined with a pair of shadow striped socks that picks up the same colors. My penny loafers are dark brown and contrasting yet harmonious at the bottom end of my outfit and they coordinate with my dark brown grenadine tie. Of course, I also keep on my wedding band and I also wear a pinky ring with a bloodstone.

Reader Comments

  1. Dear Sir,

    Thank you for this timely article. I grew up in an environment we’re alcohol consumption equates to manliness. Fortunately I also met wonderful examples who mentored me with grace, dignity and joy (with and without alcohol).
    Alcohol is a wonderful addition to celebrate life’s many pleasures-thanks again!

  2. Equating alcohol with being a gentleman is a mistake. A big mistake. Every drunken bum passed out in an alley, and every “social drinker” who has clearly had too much, started out saying “I can handle it. I’ll never let it get the best of me.” Yet, there they are. Many can handle it – but no one knows for certain until they start down that road.

    I make plenty of mistakes in judgement being completely sober. Adding alcohol or other drugs would just make things worse.

    If one chooses to drink alcohol, then that’s a personal choice. Leading others to drink, by saying, even by implication, that consuming alcohol in moderation is part of being a gentlemen, is irresponsible and just plain wrong. You are recognized as an authority, and aspiring gentleman look to you for advice and guidance. Among your readers will be young men who are in that “I’m invincible” stage of life where they believe they can do anything without consequence. We have all been there, and most of us survived in spite of ourselves. You do a disservice to those aspiring gentlemen with this post. What is it worth to you if your promotion of alcohol leads a young man down the road to being a drunk, when he simply wanted to be a gentleman? I have come to expect a higher standard from Gentleman’s Gazette than this, and I hope that promoting the use of alcohol will be a thing of the past on your blog.

    1. “Equating alcohol with being a gentleman is a mistake.”

      I don’t think GG did that.

      They don’t stipulate that you have to drink to be a gentleman.

      They just say if you are going to drink don’t be an idiot – behave like a gentleman.

  3. In vino veritas, in too much vino, handcuffs. Your blood alcohol level doesn’t care if you’re a gentleman, but the gentlemen with the unstylish blue uniforms do care about your blood alcohol level. Uber it!

  4. it sometimes annoys me the airs & graces of the writer. He perceives himself almost as an “English Gentleman” and having come from a long illustrious & glorious past, and an equally fine, I suppose, British type public school education. I think he emigrated to US from Germany in fact
    One thing is certain whether you are English, American, French etc is that if you were well brought up and normally had a good education and are what might be perceived to day as a “gentlemen” there is no need, as the writer does, to constantly ram down our throats how fine & cultivated he is. Let others do this if they see fit and please be a little more modest in your dictates.

    1. Dear Peter,

      How you perceive me is your thing, I cannot change that. Whether a gentleman is English, Russian, Polish, Brazilian, Chinese or German should not matter in our mind. If you truly want to understand how we think of the gentleman, head over here and check out what it means to be a gentleman today.
      Out of curiosity, what exactly makes you perceive me as an English gentleman? I never made any claims whatsoever. What is wrong with emigrating from Germany to the U.S.? At the end of the day, if you do not like what we do, we are not shoving our content down your throat – you have other options. 1. Stop consuming our content 2. Create your own content about what you think matters ;)

      1. The “What it Means to be a Gentleman Today” post that you linked to is excellent! Well written, thoughtful, and honest. I would encourage any aspiring gentleman to read it carefully. Being a gentleman is not about “stuff” – it is about who we are.

      2. Actually Sven, there is something wrong with having emigrated from Germany to the US. Over here, you can’t get Thurn & Taxis beer,…und es ist schade.

    2. This comment has made me smile, you obviously have no experience of an English public school education nor is the author writing from an “English gentleman’s” perspective.
      An “English” (British) gentleman will know how to handle his “drink”, this does not mean they will consume and be able to handle vast amounts of alcohol but rather they will tailor both their thirst and their reaction to alcohol to the occasion; i.e. multiple toasts, then self control and hold off on other drinks if needed. A formal occasion, strict self control of oneself no matter what one has consumed (but also an acute awareness of what one has consumed). A mess (or hunting) do, then as above but only until the ladies and grown ups have departed then let rip, however you can only be a friendly, sleepy or playful drunk, (if you’re not, then self control and in your own time).

      All taught by the fact that once you have sat down at a dinner you may not leave your seat until the end! No restroom breaks means that one learns to takes care until, billiards ;)

      P.S. Actions taken while in your cups will never be held against you (although you may be fined, (in bottles of port or champagne usually)), behaving like an arse is unacceptable but highjinks is far game.

  5. Dear Raphael ,
    So very nicely done again ; the big thing in my part of the world is to drink directly from bottles , really disgusting .
    These days so many do not have a clue when it comes to basic etiquette ; I can’t recall the last time I seen a young man poor a lady a drink of any type.

    1. The same is true in my corner of the States, Mark. Even when ordering a bottled beer in an otherwise decent restaurant, it is rare to even be offered a glass. Manners aside (for the moment), beer is always much better if poured, allowing some of the CO2 to dissipate, as intended
      .

      1. Dear Greg,
        How really unfortunate this socialising has become as it also promotes lazy and inattentive hospitality staff. Maybe drink at home and enjoy the trappings.

        1. Well Mark, the local custom changing for the worse does not mean we have to. Nice meeting you, sir

  6. Vielen Dank, Sven. All very useful pointers to remember, especially during the festive season with all of its related parties and similar gatherings where some might be tempted to forget themselves a bit too much after a drink or three in rapid succession.

    Best Regards,

    Heinz-Ulrich

  7. Very interesting article, and even more interesting reactions to the diplomatically offered content. In my work I see the dynamics of the relationship between some of my patients and alcohol. As has been the thinking for some time at the present, overcoming alcoholism is not contingent with merely refusing to drink alcohol. The WHO has defined health since the Geneva convention as not just the absence of disease, but as a condition of social, mental, and physical wellbeing.

  8. An excellent read – and especially relevant in December with all the Christmas dinners, where many people (in Denmark at least) tend to forget about suitable conduct. :D

    In general, I’d say that one adjusts according to the situation. One thing that continues to annoy me is when people at e.g. a vernissage go for as many free drinks as possible and de facto ignore the real reason to be present. The rule (in my book) is that you have one glass of wine, maybe two – the drink serves as a kind of accessory, not an excuse to kickstart a party at the host’s expense. As an art historian, I attend quite a few of such events, and there is almost always a few who get slightly out of line. Alas!

  9. Dear Sven,

    I have recently found your website and guide to being a gentleman videos and posts. Although I am a female, I have found them highly informative, full of common sense and wonderfully entertaining. Keep up the good work. I also love the style and cut of your clothes, worn with elan and panache.

    Greetings from Scotland – Lesley

  10. Hello, I am a loyal follower of your website (men fashion is one of my biggest passions!) I read your article with great interest, and I couldn’t help thinking of the drinking culture in Korea, where I spent most time of my life. Drinking till getting drunk is the norm in business contexts and in the higher levels of a company. In fact, it is unthinkable to be a businessman and not drinking alcohol. Although the society has changed a lot its views regarding alcohol consumption, there is still the idea that drinking in excess is necessary to climb up the career ladder and to make business. It’s a huge contrast: in Korea men face a lot of pressure in their jobs, whereas in the West men can choose to drink with moderation and not being judged for that.
    Have a great day!

  11. One of the problems I find in Australia is that the nexus between alcohol and food has been well and truly broken. Little wonder that Aussies have a reputation for drinking to excess, especially that now so many Craft Brew beers are 8% + and it’s becoming difficult to find a red wine worth drinking that is less than 15% abv

    So many of the countries that produce great wine and beer always provide interesting and well presented small portions to go with the tipple.

    Not here, sadly… many pubs will only serve you a full meal, if your lucky… or bag of chips, if you’re not.

    Wine bars tend to be restaurants with a (slightly) extended wine -by -the glass list.

    I went in a “Tapas” bar the other evening and found they had real problem finding a fresh sherry that wasn’t a PX (- and the “Tapas” were all entrée serves).

    JB

  12. Consuming vast amounts of alcohol used to be considered quite gentlemanly. Hence the expression, “as drunk as a lord.”

  13. I’m thankful for the strength for my LORD Jesus to be six years free of beer and liquor. And I say that with no shame. :-)

  14. A gentleman toasts the table by going around looking everyone in the eyes before drinking, then looks again before putting down the glass. If theres a toast with whomever is next to you, you pick up your glass with the opposite hand. So left if its on the right and right if its on the left.

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