Politeness is the mark of a true gentleman, even in the most private of settings! Below are five core rules for maintaining dignity, discretion, and decency when nature calls.
1. Be Discreet and Considerate
Even the most mundane moments offer an opportunity to display refinement. In shared facilities, a gentleman remains aware that his conduct reflects both his character and his regard for others.
Excuse yourself politely.
No need to broadcast your intentions when you are going to the bathroom. A simple “Please excuse me for a moment” will suffice, even if you’re leaving mid-meal.
Knock before entering.
Whether it’s a private restroom or public stall, a light but firm knock prevents awkward encounters.
Respect accessible facilities.
Only use handicap stalls if necessary; you don’t want to inconvenience someone who truly needs them.
Do your words match your manners?
2. Respect Personal Space in Public Restrooms
A public restroom is not a social salon. Let discretion be your guide.
- Mind the “buffer zone”. If urinals are available, leave one empty between you and the next person when possible. Yes, there’s even a mathematical take on it.
- Save conversations for later. Avoid chatting while others are mid-business; if you must, wait until you’re both washing your hands or outside.
- Keep noise to yourself. No phone calls, music, or videos.
- Maintain visual focus. Public restrooms are not the place for wandering eyes.
“Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.”
Winston S. Churchill
3. Maintain Cleanliness
A gentleman leaves a restroom in the same—or better—condition than he found it.
- Protect your garments. Remove your jacket and hang it up. Keep trousers, belts, and suspenders clear of potential mishaps.
- Leave no trace. Clean the seat and surrounding area, flush, and if needed, offer a courtesy flush. In some places, use the provided toilet brush.
- Dispose properly. Toilet paper goes in the toilet unless otherwise stated; paper towels and other waste belong in bins.
- Wash thoroughly. Soap, water, and at least 30 seconds of scrubbing.
- Dry responsibly. Use towels or dryers; avoid flicking water on the floor or others.
What’s the secret to clothes that last decades?
4. Be Reasonable and Responsible
A gentleman who acts with responsibility helps keep the restroom pleasant for all.
No commentary on odors.
It’s juvenile and unhelpful.
Use available aids.
Turn on fans, light scented candles, or discreetly use air fresheners when provided.
Report issues.
If you encounter a mess, a clog, or empty supplies, discreetly notify staff or your host.
5. Be Mindful When There’s a Crowd
In a crowded venue, your speed is part of your service to others.
- Don’t linger: Especially when others are waiting.
- Save scrolling for later: The bathroom of a concert, stadium, or busy café is not the place for extended phone breaks.
- Heed subtle signals: Repeated knocks or door jiggles mean it’s time to wrap up.
Outfit Rundown
In today’s outfit, I’m wearing a simple, casual outfit based around blue tones. My short-sleeved seersucker sport shirt from Lands’ End features a grid pattern of navy blue and royal blue on a white ground. My trousers are plain royal blue, a bit lighter than the standard navy, and my shoes are navy blue suede loafers from the brand Henry Stevens.
My socks are from our own brand, Fort Belvedere. They are two-tone solids in light blue and navy blue. Rounding things out today is the fragrance I’m wearing from the Roberto Ugolini collection. Appropriately enough, it’s Blue Suede Shoes.
For the fragrance and socks I’m wearing, as well as a wide array of other classic men’s accessories, corduroy trousers, and other fragrances from the Ugolini collection, you can take a look at the Fort Belvedere shop here.
Learn to walk like a gentleman
Conclusion
As with all aspects of gentlemanly conduct, restroom etiquette boils down to awareness, courtesy, and self-restraint. After all, as Taro Gomi’s children’s classic reminds us, everyone poops—but not everyone does so politely. Make sure you do.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
How do I excuse myself to use the restroom?
Excusing yourself without explicitly announcing that you’re going to the restroom is often the most polite way
What should I avoid when using the restroom?
Avoid making any unnecessary messes for others and respect people’s space and privacy.
What should I do if using a stall without a toilet seat cover?
In most cases, it is best to simply wait for the next available stall or use a different restroom if one is nearby. If you are in a situation where you cannot wait, try to use the stall with as little contact as possible.
What should I do if someone is waiting for me?
The best thing is to get your business done as quickly as possible, so you can also go.
What is the proper procedure for using the hand dryer?
Stand in front of the hand dryer until your hands are completely dry. Once finished, move away promptly to allow the next person to use it. Be mindful of the noise and avoid hogging the machine for an extended period.
What should I do if it’s especially smelly?
The best thing is to turn on an air vent and not draw too much attention to it.
What’s the etiquette for the restroom exit?
After washing your hands and drying them, exit the restroom in a timely and orderly manner. Avoid lingering by the sinks or doorways, as this can create congestion and make it difficult for others to move freely.
Do you feel we left off a critical piece of advice concerning handling your business? Let us know in the comments!
Learn to sit like a gentleman
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This is great advice as usual, and unfortunately, very much needed. When I had a full time job, a friend of mine and I appointed ourselves as Chairs of the Restroom Committee so that we could post a sign reminding people to wash their hands.
Although it is no longer common in the US, I have sometimes encountered a restroom assistant who opens the taps for me and then hands me a towel. The expected tip was 50 cents, and later rose to a dollar. Polite conversation with the attendant was proper.
There are occasional news items nowadays about people who believe that someone is using the “wrong” gendered restroom. You cannot be sure of a person’s gender without asking or demanding some sort of proof, and that would be highly inappropriate. The person is likely just in need of the facilities as you are, and it serves no one to make a scene. If you are nonetheless concerned, it is probably best to wait just outside until the person is finished before your enter.
Well said, Randall. Thank you so much for your support.
Gentlemen,
Are we running short of topics?
Is an article entitled “Porta Potty Protocols” coming soon?
Please advise.
With every best wish,
Andrew Gregg,
Palm Springs, California.
Dear Andrew, the videos and articles we make serve a purpose to all whom require them. If you feel your bathroom habits are that of a gentleman, that’s great. In an increasingly casual world, there are many who will appreciate the necessity of this topic being explored. With regards, Jack Collins.
Marvellous
In addition to mentioning the issue of watching videos, I believe this article should also have addressed the matter of recording videos and taking photographs in public restrooms. On two occasions, I have personally encountered so‑called “influencers” either setting up to film themselves or already doing so. I have also witnessed several individuals taking photos in such spaces. Interestingly, this seems to be largely an American (U.S.) phenomenon. I have yet to encounter it in Switzerland, where I live, or in the various EU countries where I work. Needless to say, this kind of behavior is both inconsiderate and inappropriate. A restroom is a private environment intended for a functional purpose, not a backdrop for content creation. Aside from being disruptive, it also raises serious privacy concerns for everyone present.
A true gentleman respects the comfort and dignity of others. That means leaving cameras, tripods, and “photo opportunities” outside the restroom door!
While I’m yet to encounter a full camera set-up in UK bathrooms, I do agree that there seems to be an uprise in the taking of selfies in bathroom mirrors when out in public. In my opinion, fine to take a quick snap (if so desired) as long as it’s just yourself in the photo, and you haven’t caught anyone else tending to business in the background!
A couple of things Preston appears to have forgotten: Lift the lid, drop trousers.
But I’m impressed by the fact he kept a straight face throughout.
I’ll let others comment on the sports equipment.
Something I have long wondered – what should one do when there is no peg or hook to hang one’s jacket? I do not like having to remove it and leave it on the back of my seat when I get up.
Thank you for always providing authoritative, relevant and sometimes provocative content.
Your contributions to civility and style, are valued more than you may know!
All best,
Bob Cammaroto
Thanks, Bob – much appreciated!