How to Pick a Restaurant for a First Date

Thinking of going to a restaurant for a first date but not sure what to choose? Here’s how you can make a great first impression with that potential special someone.

Factors to Consider When Choosing a Restaurant

It’s no secret that first dates can be both exciting and nerve-wracking. You’re often just getting to know a potential significant other, and while a bit of uncertainty can be part of the fun, you don’t want to ruin things with an unsuitable venue.

When trying to discern a pleasant, engaging location where each of you can get to know each other more, there are a number of factors to consider.

Consider Your Date’s Preferences

Whenever possible, be sure to take your date’s needs and preferences into consideration. It’s true that finding a restaurant both of you might like can be more difficult in the age of dating apps since oftentimes you haven’t even met in person yet.

Use Past Conversations as a Guide

So, think back to previous conversations to determine their preferences. If you met them online, this might be even easier since you can scroll through said previous conversations.

They might also have a description or photo in their profile that could hint at the places they would like to visit. So, if you’ve exchanged social media profiles, look for clues.

Is your date constantly sharing pictures at high-end Italian restaurants? Or did they complete a tour of the best barbecue joints in the local area?

Don’t Forget Dietary Restrictions!

If you aren’t sure where to even begin, you could also choose a place that has a wide variety of different menu options as well as allowances for food allergies or dietary restrictions.

Be Considerate and Ask in Advance

Speaking of which, you should also ask your date if they have any preferences or restrictions before picking a location or if they have any particular beliefs about the consumption of alcohol.

You can also offer a few different choices on where to go and see what sparks their interest. This will show that you’re being considerate of their needs and desires and avoid any potential awkwardness.

After all, you wouldn’t want to bring someone with a seafood allergy to a crab shack.

New Restaurant or Old Favorite?

Next, consider whether you want to return to a known restaurant or try someplace new. Often, it’s easiest to pick a place you’ve been to previously as you know how the food is and can feel more confident recommending it.

Trying Something New Together

But if you’re more daring or don’t want your date to feel like you have a home-field advantage when picking a known restaurant, you can choose someplace that neither of you has been to before. This can even make the whole experience more exciting as you’ll potentially have something new to bond over.

Just make sure that the venue is generally well-reviewed and that you’d both be interested in trying.

Do Your Research Beforehand

The good news here is that there are plenty of ways to do your research before selecting a place that neither of you have been before. There are online review sites like Google, Yelp, OpenTable, and Resy.

For a more in-depth review, there are also blogs and critic reviews. Some online creators in major cities even specialize in finding local restaurants that would make for great first-date options.

Location and Accessibility Matter

On that note, you should also keep the actual location of the restaurant in mind when making your selection. It should ideally be a neutral location that isn’t too far out of the way for either of you.

Also, consider details like parking and overall accessibility of the venue to avoid any last-minute hurdles.

Think About Parking and Transportation

This can be especially true if you’re visiting a restaurant downtown or a large metro area where things like metered parking or parking garages can be far more common. This could potentially make a restaurant less than ideal for a more casual first date.

So, if it is a trickier venue to find and access, it’s good to share this information with your date ahead of time so both of you know where to go and what to expect.

Go for Budget-Friendly Options for a Comfortable First Date

It’s also important to stress that a first date doesn’t have to be overly expensive.

Avoid Extremes: Not Too Casual, Not Too Formal

In general, expectations are lower at this relationship stage, and it can be better to pick something less stuffy. After all, you’re both just trying to figure out if you will be a good fit for each other in the first place.

Therefore, look for a location that’s both comfortable and approachable but also shows you put some thought into it. In other words, a fast food joint probably won’t cut it, but a seven-course Michelin-starred restaurant will probably be too much.

Fast Food is a No-Go (Usually)

We’re not saying that there’s necessarily anything wrong with fast food or homey, or fare. But defaulting to McDonald’s could give the impression that your selection was a last-minute decision, implying that you weren’t taking things very seriously.

So, while it could be the case for some people that the Golden Arches is an ideal location for a first date, know yourself and your date well enough to make that choice intentionally.

Don’t Try to Impress with Expensive Choices

Conversely, an extremely fancy, very expensive, or even expensive-appearing restaurant might be intimidating or make it look like you’re trying to impress your date by throwing around money.

Again, if you’re both comfortable with haute cuisine, go for it, but don’t feel like you have to break the bank to make a good first date.

Find the Right Balance

To summarize here, overspending on an overly formal dining experience can put more pressure on your date than is necessary. And while it will usually make a better impression than choosing a restaurant that’s too casual, you don’t want to be too extreme in either direction.

To put this in menswear terms, dramatically overdressing for a given occasion can sometimes be just as tactless as severely underdressing. That’s why knowing the formality scale is key. And since we’re on the topic of clothes, let’s take a moment to go over the outfit I’m wearing for today.

Key Restaurant Characteristics

Now, first-date restaurants don’t have to look the same for everyone, and there’s no formula for a perfect location. So, try to follow your intuition, but if you’re truly unsure, then we’ve got a few general pointers for you.

Restaurant Ambiance

Restaurants priced in the middle tier with soft lighting and good seating options are generally a safe bet.

They situate the occasion in nice territory and show effort while not being overly formal and still relatively affordable. What constitutes mid-tier, of course, can vary based on cultural, social, and economic factors. When trying to figure out that gauge, consider your own local restaurant scene and think of which establishments are roughly in the middle.

Your answer there will give you a good idea of what to aim for, which is generally at that middle ground or slightly elevated above it.

Noise Level

It’s also good to look for restaurants that have a quiet, calm vibe.

Many restaurant review sites often include some information about the volume level and ambiance so you know what to expect ahead of time. And keep the actual restaurant size in mind as well. Small, intimate restaurants could give you the feeling that everyone is listening to your conversation.

When you’re in the early stages of a relationship and aren’t fully comfortable with each other, this can add unwanted pressure and make for a less pleasant experience. Along with considering the type of cuisine, as we mentioned earlier, the method by which it’s served is also a significant factor to consider.

Cuisine and Serving Style

Consider Messy vs. Neat Foods

It can be fun to partake in experiential or potentially novel experiences where everyone participates in a fun way. For instance, think of everyone wearing bibs and gloves together at a seafood boil or using the hot pot for certain Asian cuisines. But, if you’re alone and eating a sloppy joe while your date is having a salad, it could make you feel awkward.

So, if concerns about getting your hands or clothes dirty would detract from the evening or be a distraction for one or both of you, consider knife-and-fork restaurants instead.

Alternative First Date Venues

Cafes, bakeries, coffee, and dessert or wine bars might also be good options for first dates and be fun in a different way.

Places like wine or coffee bars and even jazz lounges often have quiet live music that can help to set the ambiance for a romantic evening. Again, make sure that this isn’t loud enough to prevent any conversations from happening.

Reservations and Seating

If the venue you’ve chosen takes reservations, be sure to make one.

You might not necessarily end up needing it, but it’s better to be safe than sorry. Making a reservation shows your date that you’ve got foresight and responsibility, and nothing kills the mood like waiting two hours for a table.

Avoid Awkward Seating Configurations

Bar seating or similar configurations where you’re not actually facing one another can be awkward for a date as they don’t make for good conversation or for establishing good eye contact.

Focus on Your Date, Not Perfection

We’ve already produced separate guides covering prepping for a date, restaurant etiquette, and table manners. Being a classic gent is more than just dressing the part, after all.

A Great Date is About Connection

But, outside of that, remember that the occasion is really about your date and not about the food itself. And while, of course, we do hope that both are excellent, part of the risk of a first date is that not every place you choose is going to be amazing, or your date might not appreciate your favorite spot as much as you do.

Don’t Get Hung Up on Perfection

But if you pick a place that didn’t live up to expectations, it’s not the end of the world.

Often, we have an idealized version of what will happen in our heads, and while we’d all love to be as smooth and suave as the illustrations and images from the Golden Age of Menswear below, trying in vain to meet this expectation might just make you nervous and hypercritical.

So while putting forth your best effort is important, experiences and plans sometimes falling short is a fact of life. In these instances, staying positive and adaptable when plans don’t work out perfectly sets a good tone and shows grace and humility.

Of course, these are traits that every potential partner would love to see.

Be Adaptable and Positive

Remember to put your date’s well-being first and foremost and then make the best of the situation. It could even become an inside joke between the two of you down the line if things go well otherwise.

But if you’ve done your research and are well prepared for the evening, then you should be able to stay calm, cool, and collected while dining.

Conclusion

In conclusion, picking a location for a first date might seem daunting, but it doesn’t have to be. It’s really more about setting the stage for the other person and seeing if there’s something worth exploring between the two of you.

And hopefully, after using our advice, you should be planning your second date before too long.

Share your favorite first date restaurant ideas in the comments!