Because we’re called the Gentleman’s Gazette and we hold ourselves out to help men be gentlemen, we thought it was a good time to discuss what it means to be a gentleman or masculinity and men in general. So without further ado, let’s watch the Gillette video and I’ll
What I Think About The Gillette Ad…
Okay, so it’s obviously about the me-too movement, honestly, to me, saying, “Gillette, the best a man can get” is like saying “McDonald’s, the highest quality health food a man can get”. It’s just a complete empty statement that couldn’t be further from the truth but again, that’s just my opinion.
Yeah, bullying is not something a gentleman should engage in, neither is sexual harassment, but if we actually take a step back and look at a piece that we created in 2016, it’s called what it means to be a gentleman today, and we simply tried to analyze what it means in this day and age because you know back in the day, there were simply different terms for gentleman right? It used to be a courteous or honorable man but all those things don’t necessarily ring true anymore in this day and age.
So we came up with these 11 points, right? One is a gentleman is imperfect. A gentleman has high standards, he’s well dressed, he has good manners, he’s open-minded, he’s interesting and informed, his actions match his words and he treats other people with respect.
Now, when you touch a woman’s ass, that’s anything but respectful because you just treat her as an object, right? So I know there was a time when this was considered okay or men would say “Well, she wants it”
Frankly, I’m happy to live in this day and age where everyone should be able to decide whether they can be touched or not and they can express feelings and they’re in control what happens to their body and not someone else.
Honestly, I would agree! Just laughing things off or saying “Oh, it’s not that big of a deal” is not gonna solve the deeper issue of an imbalance of power that is often there. Now, don’t get me wrong! Everything we do is for men and we will never do a ladies Gazette or a Woman’s Gazette because we’re passionate about helping men and becoming better.
Now a great man who is often not discussed at first when it comes to a gentleman, Vin Diesel. He had those wise words to say “Being male is a matter of birth, being a man is a matter of age but being a gentleman is a matter of choice” and to me, that really rings home because it is very very true.
I didn’t have a decision in whether I’m a man or not, I was born that way. When I turned 18, I became a man but by trying to become better every day and to live to a certain standard where I treat others with respect, I hold myself out to be a gentleman where I’m aspiring to be one. I know it’s hard, we all make mistakes, I did them and we’re not always on our A-game, however, that doesn’t mean that we can’t strive to be that.
Okay, so in this case, for example, I doubt the gentleman actually thinks that he’s behaving in an ungentlemanly way but by touching her and saying what she’s actually trying to say is he’s basically belittling her right? and you never, as a gentleman, want to belittle others, you want to treat them respectfully and a question to ask is, would he have treated a man or would he have treated an equal like that? and the answer is probably not because putting your hand on someone’s shoulder and trying to articulate what they want to say is usually what you do with a little boy or when you basically want to show that they’re just learning and they’re not up to par yet to talk at the table with the big shots.
Now, boys will be boys, yes! I was a boy. Boys are often more rambunctious, they want to fight, and they want to have little toy weapons and while all that is okay, it’s not okay to accept other kids being bullied or beaten up simply because they’re different and frankly, when I was a boy, I engaged in behavior where we had one guy in our school and we knew that he would kind of flip out or go crazy when we just kind of teased him and so we would tease him just to get that reaction. Looking back, that was a very ungentlemanly behavior and I think it would have been great if someone would have stepped up and gone in between and told us boys “Hey it’s not okay to do that” and rather than just ignoring it and letting us tease that boy who probably had a very hard time.
Yes, it’s true. The me-too movement is here, it is real and it’s good. I think that it’s a subject of discussion because oftentimes, it was not discussed or just treated as something that is not worth being discussed.
I don’t know, to me it seems more like a marketing slogan that they try to use to push their products but if I remove myself from that, I think being a gentleman is inherently connected to improving and getting better, taking criticism, and just learn from it and grow. What I mean by that is if we stop getting better, we already stopped being good and it’s something that all Oliver Cromwell once said and it was a very wise slogan.
So just because this ad is bringing up negative behavior that some men, not all men express or demonstrate, doesn’t mean that all men are bad but I think it’s a good reminder to just reevaluate our own behavior because I think, often, we don’t think about our own behavior as bad but others, particularly women, look at it and feel like it’s sexist whereas we think “oh it’s totally okay” In my opinion, it’s just good to take a step back and say “hey, what behaviors do I display that may be sexist?”
In Case You Missed The Gillette Ad:
What’s displayed here is more like a form of civil courage. When you see something that is not okay, you speak up and I think as a gentleman, that’s always the honorable thing to do, you don’t just walk away and let others do their thing but if you see that someone is getting beaten up, speak up. If you see that a woman is maybe harassed or treated in a way that makes her uncomfortable, speak up and give her the feeling of comfort and I think that’s something where, we as men, can just reevaluate our behavior and think what we’re doing is truly respecting others, including women.
Yeah, that’s another aspect of it right? If we’re men and we are insecure in ourselves, it’s great to help others feel better and empower them and ultimately, being a person that others want to be around with, that helps them to grow rather than someone who tries to push him down or belittles them. I think that’s something that we can all aspire to as human beings and just as men or women or LGBT, it doesn’t matter. It’s just equality that great people have.
“Do As I Say, Not Do As I Do”
Yeah, it’s the old game, right? Do as I say, not do as I do. Living by example is a lot more powerful than just telling people what to do and actually showing, as a dad or someone who is an important figure in someone else’s life and acting responsibly, has a huge impact which is why a lot of sports people oftentimes get disciplined if they don’t act well in public because it has such a big impact on kids and if it’s okay for other people to do stuff, then little kids think it’s okay for them to do stuff. So our actions don’t just affect ourselves but also others who look up to us. So keep that in mind!
The Ad As A Whole…
The best a man can get, looking at the ad as a whole, I think a lot of people got offended by it because they felt like it was just pointing out negative things about men. Now, I think it pointed out certain aspects of negative male behavior that is sometimes displayed and it’s something that men can change, that they can get over with. A lot of men don’t actually do this stuff which is great and men are important in our society, right? I mean men fight in the military, men help to rescue others, the suicide rate for men is higher, depression rate for men is higher, so men sacrifice a lot in our society and it doesn’t mean that men are not valued or that they have to change everything they do but there are certain aspects where we engage in a certain sexist behavior or we do things that belittle others and I think that can be changed and that’s a valid point.
Do I Think Gillette Did That Because They Genuinely Believe In That?
Frankly, I don’t know. I’m rather doubtful. To me, it’s a big marketing thing because they’re really having a hard time, from a business point of view, they’re selling products to women and they just want to be a part of the conversation and clearly, with 24 million views after just a week, they’re achieving that goal.
Will It Help Gillette Turn Around Sales?
I don’t know, I’m rather doubtful because the product itself sucks but at the end of the day, I think it’s good to discuss these things and bring men to think about their behavior and maybe have others think about their behavior too. Just because being a woman doesn’t mean you can’t belittle others or you can be unfair to others. If you look at things like the CEOs of Fortune 500 companies, do you realize that 95% of men or an average, men still earn more than women not necessarily because they do better work but because they’re traditionally considered to be the breadwinner so it is just something to consider and looking at overall wealth, I mean 88% of all billionaires today are men.
I think we have some ways to go to achieve true gender equality but that doesn’t mean I have to be apologetic of being a man and I’m very secure in who I am but it doesn’t mean that I can’t improve. I try to improve every day, I want to make our website better, I want to make our products better, I want to be a better dad, and I want to treat people better and having that mindset, I think helps me and if I’m just shutting down when someone criticizes me and just say “oh I’m offended I’m not gonna do or buy this product again” because they criticize me in a way, then that stops me from from getting better because I have a picture of myself in mind and by putting down any valid criticism, you’re just actually holding yourself back from achieving that level.
So again, I’m not telling you what to do or that you’re a bad person, I’m just saying reconsider your behavior, think about it, and be conscious of it and that’s what you can do to be a better man and therefore, you can strive to be a gentleman and aspire to be that and help others and help them grow and be a better person.