You’re Making These 10 Mistakes When Speaking on the Phone

Proper etiquette when speaking on the phone is a hallmark of correct gentlemanly conduct, so make sure you’re not accidentally committing any of the ten mistakes that we’re going to cover today.

1. Making a Call When It Isn’t Necessary

It is becoming increasingly popular to utilize additional forms of communication when contacting others, especially in regard to personal or social communication. With text, email, and even video calls, we have far more options than in the past; therefore, it is more considerate and polite to first determine how to reach out.

For instance, if you’re making an appointment, many businesses now offer online forms. These forms allow you to set up your appointment at your own pace, and this is all done without having to involve the business’s staff.

Conversely, if you’re asking a friend about a meetup later in the week, a short text will allow them to reply at their leisure and provide them with a written record of important details like date and time.

If you notice that someone always replies to your cell phone calls with texts or emails, they might be subtly communicating to you that they prefer those methods of communication.Since being polite is fundamentally about making others feel comfortable and respected, consider adapting to their preferences.

Also, in general, we found that in most cases, before calling someone, especially socially, first send a text briefly outlining what you want to talk about—such as, “Are you free to talk on the phone? I just wanted to discuss our plans this weekend.” This gives the other person time to prepare and ensures that you’re calling at a good time.

2. Intruding On Others While Speaking

Ideally, any phone conversation should stay between you and the person to whom you’re speaking. It is impolite to make others unwilling parties to your call by loudly carrying on with your conversation while others are around. We understand that sometimes this is unavoidable, and that’s okay. But, think of how unpleasant it is to be stuck in a room while the person next to you loudly complains about how expensive their phone bill has become.

Whenever possible, avoid making or taking calls in close proximity to others, as Preston covers in our general guide to conversational etiquette. Doing so is doubly unpleasant when it is on speakerphone.

Ideally, if you have to speak on the phone, leave the confined space to a more open area where you can take the call without disturbing others. If you have to take a call and cannot leave the area, speak in a normal tone and try to resolve the call as quickly as possible so as not to disturb others.

3. Offering an Impolite Greeting

While you can’t shake hands over the phone, you can offer a polite greeting that will set a friendly tone for the rest of the conversation, and you should always avoid a salutation that appears dismissive or distracted.

Answering your phone with a grunt or “Yeah?” is off-putting, and the caller may not even realize that the line is open, leading to frustration and “Can you hear me?” going back and forth. Instead, consider a much more formal and pleasant opening, such as, “This is Kyle Thibodeaux speaking,” to set an amicable tone. Everyone loves a delightful phone manner.

Your precise greeting may vary based on your country, whether you say, “Hola,” or “Pronto,” or “Moshi Moshi.”

Always be sure to say it politely to establish a good rapport. Similarly, when ending the call, offer a brief farewell, and please don’t just hang up. That may be how they do it in the movies, but we are more polite in real life.

4. Failing to Introduce Yourself

In most situations, when you’re telephoning someone else, especially someone that you don’t know or if you’re making business phone calls, the call will naturally present an opportunity to explain who you are and why you are calling.

Or if you’re telephoning someone socially for the first time, consider something like “Hello, Miss Selena Kyle? This is Kyle Thibodeaux. Our mutual friend Preston gave me your number….”

Taking just a little time to introduce yourself and explain your call provides clarity and a warm reception for the person with whom you’re speaking.

5. Being Distracted

Just like with an in-person conversation, employ active listening anytime you’re speaking on the phone and provide your undivided attention. Just because the other person can’t see you doesn’t mean you should be augmenting the conversation by watching TV, fiddling with your phone, or even cleaning the house.

6. Unnecessarily Privileging a Call Over a Face-to-Face Conversation

If you’re speaking with someone else and you receive a phone call, don’t immediately drop one conversation for the other. Just like you wouldn’t abruptly stop a conversation to start talking to someone walking by, the fact that someone else is calling doesn’t negate your present conversational obligations.

Instead, politely tell your interlocutor, “Excuse me, my phone is ringing, and I need to check who is calling. One moment, please.” If the call isn’t urgent, let it go to voicemail and say something like, “I’m sorry about that. Where were we?” If the call is urgent, say, “I’m so sorry. I have to take this call. I believe it’s urgent.” And in keeping with rule number two, consider stepping away.

If you’re on the phone with someone and someone enters the room to speak with you, tell the person on the phone something like, “One moment, please. Someone has just come in.” Ask this newcomer how you can help them, and then either conclude or continue your phone conversation as needed. Don’t say, “Sorry, got to go,” and immediately hang up.

Conversely, if you receive a call while on the phone, tell the person with whom you’re speaking, “I’m sorry. I have received a call on the other line. Please let me see who’s calling.”

7. Speaking in an Unnatural Tone

Yelling to be heard in real life rarely makes you more comprehensible. And the same is doubly true for telephone calls. If someone is having trouble hearing you over the phone, either due to a bad connection or auditory issues, speaking slowly and clearly is almost always your best option.

If the connection is especially poor, you should instead say, “I’m sorry. We have a very bad connection. Please let me call you back to see if that fixes it.” Rather than trying to shout over the static. If you’re in an area with poor reception, like inside a tunnel underground or in a tiled room, you may need to say, let the person on the other line know.

As you might expect, speaking in an unnaturally low tone will make it harder to hear, and you usually only feel the need to do that if you’re breaking our next rule. 

8. Conversing in The Wrong Times & Places

There are some places where you obviously shouldn’t carry on a phone conversation. These include entertainment venues like cinemas, concerts, and theaters; solemn occasions like funerals, ceremonies like weddings or graduations, and similar events where your full attention should be focused elsewhere and you shouldn’t be creating distractions for others.

If possible, in these circumstances, we suggest completely turning your phone off or turning it to silent, ideally before entering the venue, to avoid any distractions. But we understand that sometimes you have responsibilities that make it difficult to cut yourself off from other communication completely.

In such cases, we recommend that you set your phone to vibrate, store it in your pocket, and when you feel it start to vibrate, quickly excuse yourself to go somewhere more private. Avoid the temptation to immediately answer the phone or even to check your phone screen in dark environments because the light shining in the dark could distract others.

There are also less obvious situations in which you should avoid carrying on a phone conversation; of course, unless it’s an emergency. These include when you’re a guest at someone else’s home, when you’re entertaining or being entertained, while dining, while transacting business, like placing an order for coffee, or any situation in which you should be paying attention to a human being in front of you.

9. Not Being Mindful of the Lack of Visual Cues

When speaking on the phone be aware of the fact that you don’t have the same visual cues when not speaking on the phone. You won’t be able to see the way people lift or turn their heads, raise their hands, shift their mouths, or alter their eyes, all of which are subtle ways to show that they have something to say or more to say.

Therefore, when speaking on the phone, it is polite to intentionally slow down your pace of speech and provide plenty of brief pauses. This gives the other person opportunities to chime in and will make it less likely that you’ll inadvertently dominate the conversation or interrupt. 

10. Not Leaving a Message

It’s polite to indicate in some way why you were calling if you miss the person you called. When someone only sees that they’ve missed a call, they don’t know if the call was about something important or urgent, which can create unnecessary confusion and anxiety.

This doesn’t mean that you have to leave a voicemail. Text messages work, too. You could indicate something like, “Sorry I missed you. I was calling about our summer plans,” or if necessary, “Please call me back urgently. This is about Great Aunt Helga’s health.”

Offering this simple context will quickly convey the nature of the missed call so the person you’re trying to reach is better able to assist with what you need.

Conclusion

As with all matters of politeness, the main lesson about proper etiquette when speaking on the phone is simply about being considerate to others, especially in formal or serious situations. 

What tips do you employ for superlative telephone conversations, or have you ever been privy to examples of phone-speaking etiquette that are especially poor? Let us know in the comments.