11 Things I Wish I Had Known in My Teens – Adult Tips for My Younger Self

In a recent video, Raphael shared 10 things he wishes he had known in his 20s; now that he’s in his 30s and has some hindsight on the matter. I’m currently about halfway through my 20s, and I can say that I found several of those tips to be quite helpful. But there are also some helpful hints I’ve thought up for our teenage readers and viewers; read on to learn what they are.

Since I left my teenage years behind, there are a couple of valuable things I’ve learned, but I wish I had known earlier! Our YouTube comments sections illustrate that we’ve got a number of aspiring gentlemen who are still in their teenage years. So, I’ve compiled my own list of a few things I wish I had known when I was that age. Without any further ado, let’s give our younger viewers some ammunition for adulthood!

1. Start Saving Money Now

Do it now, while you still have a safety net. Raphael also began his list with a tip about saving money and at first glance, you might think that he gave the opposite advice. After all, his tip was that you can’t save your way into prosperity. However, these points aren’t actually mutually exclusive. What he meant to say is that you can’t set yourself up for financial stability or a more prosperous lifestyle just by pinching all of your pennies and trying to do everything “on the cheap.” Rather, instead of trying to save a few dollars or cents here and there with each purchase you’re making, it’s important to set aside money for savings at the outset that you won’t be tempted to use when making purchases.

In other words, it’s important to make a budget, make savings a part of that budget, and then stick to the plan you’ve made. That way, your savings will accumulate interest and they’ll be there for emergencies if you need them, but you won’t be tempted to dip into them every time you’re making a purchase. Also, it’s likely that as a teen, you’re probably still a legal dependent of someone else and therefore, you’re not paying expenses like rent, utilities, and so on. If that’s the case for you and you don’t have these expenses, maximize your savings now. 

2. Make Quality Investments

Quality is a better long-term investment than quantity. As a teen, it’s probable that you don’t have many expenses but at the same time, you might not yet have a full-time job or any job at all–and therefore, not have a steady source of income. Whatever the case, if your income is limited, not only should you be saving money, but you should also be wise when you do choose to spend it. This philosophy can extend to any type of purchase, of course, but to relate it back to the Gentleman’s Gazette‘s central theme of menswear, it’s better to have in your wardrobe core pieces of quality garments that are well-made and will last you a long time, than to have a closet full of cheaply made garments that will wear out after only one or two uses.

Take it from style icon, Cary Grant, who once related a lesson that his father had taught him. It’s better to buy one pair of good shoes than four cheap ones. And to use myself as an example here, I did buy cheap shoes for a number of years but only once getting into my twenties as I joined Gentleman’s Gazette, I had finally fully internalize the wisdom of saving up money to buy one good quality pair of shoes. 

3. Learn Beyond the Classroom

A conventional high school education is probably missing a great deal of information that you’ll actually need to be an adult in the real world. For example, many or most high schools these days don’t offer many courses on basic financial literacy like balancing a checkbook or doing your taxes, home economics like cooking or garment care, automotive repair or even things like sex ed and family planning. As such, in order to learn these things, you’ll often have to look outside of school, turn to your parents, grandparents, or other mentors who could teach you some of these lessons and keep in mind that they may not even have to be older than you. For example, if you’ve got a friend who’s a whiz in the kitchen, you might be able to learn some cooking techniques or recipes from them. 

4. Almost Everyone Is Insecure

It’s no secret that school social dynamics can be hard on a lot of teens. You don’t have to look any further than TV shows or movies set in high school to take a look at the interplay and drama between various social cliques; the jocks, the nerds, the popular kids and so on–and in the age of social media, things like cyber bullying have, in some ways, only accelerated in the 21st century. So while it may be tough to remember sometimes, if you are feeling insecure about your personality or your social standing, many of your peers are probably feeling the same things. If you are experiencing genuine bullying, which can be both physical and emotional, do seek the help of someone like a teacher, a counselor, a parent or someone else whom you trust. But if you’re just finding difficulty trying to fit into a certain social mold as a result of peer pressure, just don’t do it.

5. You Can’t Please Everyone

In the same way that your peers might have certain expectations for you about how to fit into a social group, your elders such as parents, teachers, and coaches might also have communicated to you some expectations for ways your life could turn out. Remember though, the one person with ultimate control over your future should be you. Now, this doesn’t mean you should outright refuse the advice of your elders or rebel just for its own sake–far from it! In fact, if you can use the advice of your elders and mentors to your advantage, so much the better. Just remember that if you have different ideas for what you want your future to be than your parents or other mentors do, it’s important to have open and honest conversations with them, to determine how to best set yourself up for future success.

6. You Don’t Have to “Fit In”

This relates to the point about social insecurity: you don’t have to hang around with a group of people you don’t like, just out of a desire to fit in. Having a group to which you feel you belong is a natural human desire. After all, even if we are more introverted by nature, we still like having a community to return to for support when we need it; but therein lies the key point: if you find yourself hanging around with people who don’t support your choices, your identity, or your future plans, and they’re just taking advantage of your desire to fit into some group, you would do well to move on. 

7. Post Wisely on Social Media

On the subject of social dynamics in school, you’ve probably heard the old line at some point, “high school doesn’t last forever.” While I do agree with this sentiment, insofar as the hierarchies and drama of high school stop mattering once you’re an adult, there is also a flipside to this: because we now live in the age of social media, your teenage choices can follow you around for much longer. With the internet, everything is online now, and it can live forever if it’s archived.

Now, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t try to have fun or that you can’t make adventurous choices but just remember that whatever you post on social media can follow you around. It’s a fact that in today’s business environment, many companies, both large and small, will take a look at your social media profiles in addition to your conventional resume and references, so you should not only be careful about the kinds of activities you engage in in the first place, but also what you eventually post to social media.

8. Don’t Compare Yourself to Others’ Social Media Personas

While everyone is trying to present their best selves on social platforms, remember that everyone does have their own insecurities and their own challenges, and that you shouldn’t judge yourself by the standards of other people’s social media profiles. Remember that by and large, you’re only seeing what other people want you to see on social media, and that nobody truly lives a perfect life. You can certainly be inspired by other people, but if you’re constantly comparing yourself to what they post on social media, it’s only going to get you down. 

9. It’s Okay to Be Unsure of Your Future Plans

Let’s jump back to my earlier point about making decisions for your future, as there’s an important distinction to be made here. While you aren’t too young to have any idea what you want, you are still allowed to not know what you want. Remember here that life is a journey, and everybody figures out their own personal path at a different time. 

10. Don’t Be Afraid of Failure

Making mistakes is a natural part of life, and not attempting things just because you fear failure will only leave you stuck where you are. Of course, I’m not saying here that you should intentionally put yourself in harm’s way or go out and make a bunch of rash and irresponsible decisions–what I mean is that only through the process of trial and error, just by doing the “work of life” to try new things are you going to learn with the greatest degree of certainty what your strengths and weaknesses are and how to move forward accordingly.

11. Set Aside Your Pride – Ask for Help

Speaking from my own personal experience, it’s always important to set aside your pride or your fears about other’s perceptions of you, and to ask for help when you need it. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness, it can actually be a sign of strength. In summary, it’s okay to need help because those who care about you will want to provide it.

Conclusion

Remember, you’re going to be spending most of your life in adulthood–so if you can do things that will set yourself up for success in your teenage years, that will be key. Just don’t forget to also have a little bit of fun along the way!

Did you find any of these tips helpful (even if you’re no longer a teen)? Share with us in the comments below!

Outfit Rundown

Much of my outfit is made up of garments I’ve had since my teen years, underscoring the point that with proper care, many garments can last you a good long time.

My sport coat features a herringbone weave and is charcoal in color though it also includes shades of brown. I’m wearing it over a plain white shirt that has a more traditionally styled point collar and barrel cuffs. This is a shirt that I’ve had, in fact, since my days in high school speech and debate. My tie is vintage. In fact, I received it as a gift from my grandmother, and it’s one of my favorites in my collection. It’s burnt orange in color, and it features a repeating geometric pattern in navy tan and off-white. My plain black pleated trousers are almost 15 years old. In fact, I’ve had them for so long that before I learned how to alter my own garments, my mother let out the cuffs at the end. After all, my legs had gotten longer, but my waistline had stayed the same size.

My socks are also plain black in color, as is my belt, which features a silver buckle, and my shoes, which are cap-toed Derbys. My other two accessories are from Fort Belvedere today. My boutonniere is an orange exotic Caribbean flower and my pocket square is a brand-new design. It’s a wool silk blend in a color we’re calling antique gold ochre, and it features paisleys in buff red and blue. You can find both this brand-new pocket square, which also features a contrasting stitch around the edge, and the boutonniere in the Fort Belvedere shop here.