Middle-Aged? These 9 Things Make You Look Old! – Men’s Style & Grooming Advice

Stated plainly, there are those who look forward to middle age, and those who dread it–the “midlife crisis” is a common phenomenon, after all! Aging is inevitable, however, and we believe a gentleman should embrace the benefits that come with it, while at the same time steering away from habits that make him look older than he needs to!

Men and Middle Age

When you really think about it, men should look forward to middle-age. We’ve learned lessons from our youth, we’re more secure at work, we’re more confident in our social situations, and we’re set up to enjoy life.

So, why is middle-age so feared? I think, for a lot of men, it’s the start of old age in a society where youth is valued very highly. It’s a sad thing for many out there. While a gentleman knows that every stage in life has its significance and beauty, very few want to appear older than they actually are.

Aging is a common topic around the Gentleman’s Gazette, probably because we all age, and when it comes to clothing, there is the aspect of age appropriateness. Basically, all that refers to is styles and types of clothing that look particularly well on a person of a certain age.

Of course, the so-called rules aren’t intended to limit your spirits or creativity in any way. They’re merely a guideline to help you look your best. On that note, we cover balancing style and maturity in our guide on How To Dress Your Age.

Mistakes Middle-Aged Men Make – Mistake #1: Behaving like times haven’t changed

I find that more formal occasions are often a perfect display of men wearing things they’re simply no longer appropriate. Just think of your Uncle Philbert, who clearly pulled out a jacket for your cousin Danny’s wedding that is two sizes too big, with shoulder pads like a football player and a buttoning point super low like a 1990s Armani jacket. The same goes with a wildly printed 90s silk tie. They are just simply not in style anymore, and for good reason.

Another one of those drastic changes is weight gain, which can make you look and feel very different. Conversely, some gentlemen experience the opposite, where they’re losing mass and muscle, and it makes their bodies look scrawny, and their faces are drawn out or thin.

An easy first step to combat these effects of aging is by dressing appropriately for your body type. And yes, I mean the body type you have today. Not the one you had 30 years ago. That clothing will help define, contain, and structure the look of your body in a way that is flattering. It will also hide imperfections.

Quality clothes typically come with a lot of fabric reserve, and so having a good relationship with your alterations tailor allows you to change the look of your garments and make them more flattering, no matter what your current physique is like. An alterations tailor is certainly not a magician. He or she can truly help you hide the signs of age that you sometimes encounter with clothing, and we discuss what he or she can do in our guide to Suit Alterations.

Let’s be honest, many age-related changes to your body can be very drastic, and that pair of trousers that fit so snuggly simply can’t be altered and made larger anymore. Wishful thinking about the body type you had and the hopes that you maybe one day return to that will most likely make you unnecessarily feel bad about yourself.

Mistake #2: Gravitating toward trendy haircuts

For many men, one of the first signs of middle-age is changes in their hair; it could be receding hairline thinning of the hair or graying follicles. Yes, I know exactly what I’m talking about. If we compare videos from the early days of our YouTube channel today, you can surely see that my hairline is receding and thinning.

Recently, a company sent me a laser helmet that’s supposed to bring my hair back. They say I should use it every second day for 16 weeks. So far, I’m only halfway in, but I haven’t noticed any changes. By the way, it’s 100% unsponsored.

So, does this thing work? Frankly, I have no idea, but the fact that they sent me a bunch of stuff, such as hair gummy vitamins, anti-hair loss serum, and shampoo, and anti-thinning conditioner, as well as 3-in-1 hair growth formula supplements with extra strength, I really doubt that this in itself is really doing it, because why otherwise would they send me all that other stuff?

I guess I take advantage of money men’s fear of losing their hair and have a throw everything at it approach, hoping that something or everything altogether will surely help. Nah, I won’t use all that stuff; I don’t really believe in it, but after all, I’ll try the helmet because what do I have to lose? My hair is coming out already.

Obviously, the degree and the positioning of the hair loss varies from person to person, but when you think about your hairstyle, it makes sense to think about how much hair you still have and where you have it.

Trendy haircuts are designed for young men that exaggerate areas that simply aren’t so flattering anymore for older men, especially if they have thinning hair. For instance, the modern pompadour accentuates the hair in the crown and the front, which is typically an area where middle-aged men lose their hair first, or see a receding or thinning hairline.

In the same vein, the extreme undercut buzzes away all the hair on your side, making the thinning top of your hair look even thinner than it already is.

The way these trendy haircuts draw attention to your problem areas makes you look even older than you actually are. That’s why my recommendation for middle-aged men with a relatively full head of hair is to stick with classic haircuts that are not extreme in any way, shape, or form.

We talk about our favorite classic style haircuts in our guide to Timeless Hairstyles for Men, and if you’re considering hair loss treatment, our honest, 100% unsponsored review of the five top hair loss treatments for men might be helpful.

Of course, ideally, you talk to your barber and see what he recommends for you and your hair. In broader strokes, here are some concepts you might want to consider.

1. First, if you start to see receding hairlines, you can focus on haircuts that emphasize your hair volume. A good example of this would be the Ivy League hairstyle. That aside, taper fades can also give you the appearance of volume, and it can be incorporated in most haircuts.
2. As your hair recedes, consider more of a chopped look, which makes your hair look denser. The butch cut works very well here, as well as the Caesar’s cut, which was named after the Roman emperor.
3. Finally, as the bald patch on your head expands, hitting your receding hairline, it’s probably time to go with something like a buzz cut or a crew cut. You can even go with a smooth shaved head, and bald can be beautiful, and why not be bold. When a hair in your head starts to fail you, you can start growing a beard, and many young men who turn bald early can grow impressive beards. 

Aside from hair loss, most men will experience some graying that maybe even turn into white hair one day, but as a matter of fact, that can be a benefit of age, which transitions us nicely to our next point.

Mistake #3: Not accepting your gray hair

Most middle-aged men try to hide the fact that they’re graying or deal with it the wrong way. Of course, while the first gray or white hair on your head can be a shock to you, it’s not necessarily a bad thing. A grey streak, especially in dark hair, can make you look sophisticated and dashing. For this reason, we believe that, for most men, embracing their gray hair rather than dyeing, it is the way to go.

Just look at Greg Berzinsky of Beardbrand, for example. He just has an impressive hair color and a beard to match. If you choose to dye your hair, just be aware of certain pitfalls.

Be cautious when you employ at home dyes. They’re typically quite strong and can just color your hair more than you’d like. The problem is this will be very noticeable to other people, and you will actually appear older with your dyed hair than you would have looked without.

Oftentimes, it can also make your hair color too uniform, which is obviously not natural anymore, and it looks like you’re trying to hide your gray hair. People will assume you try to hide your age, which is the quintessential definition of making you look old.

Mistake #4: Ignoring your body hair

Just like the hair on your head changes, it does on your body, too, and ignoring that is another mistake. It’s sadly ironic that for many middle-aged men at the time, they started losing their hair; the hair on their knuckles, their ears, their noses, and so forth start growing excessively. For example, I have a few eyebrows here that always get super long unless they’re groomed. The same thing is hair on my ear and hair on my nose. So, I constantly have to use tweezers to pick them.

Obviously, hair coming out of your nostrils, unkempt eyebrows, or hairs on your ears and nose is something that people are going to see right away, obviously. So, making sure that you keep those in check first is the best course of action.

One can have body hair on your chest and back, which isn’t as immediately visible, but it can impact your self-esteem, so you want to take care of it and avoid grooming mistakes. The right grooming tools may be what you need to keep you looking young, and we’ve listed our favorites in our Grooming Products Recommendations.

Mistake #5: Neglecting (or not having) a skincare routine

After all, when it comes to small things that have a big impact on how old we look, skincare is probably at the top. How you want your skin to look is obviously a personal choice, and while some people will not want to see any wrinkles, others just accept them as part of getting older.

We don’t argue in favor of having extensive skincare routines, but at least you should have some basic preventative skincare measures that protect you from UV radiation.

The first probably most important tool is, therefore, sunscreen and, ideally, you get an SPF anywhere from 30 to 50 depending on where you live. Especially when it’s sunny, you put in sunscreen every time you go outside, and you’re exposed to sun rays. I know that’s hard to do. But because of that, many moisturizers these days that men are supposed to put on everyday, anyways, contain SPF, so you don’t have to think about it twice.

In addition to that, wearing a hat and using a moisturizer will make your skin, especially in the face, look young for longer. A good product will include ceramides and hyaluronic acid, a molecule and a fatty acid that’s naturally produced by our bodies. It’s supposed to help protect the skin and hydrate it.

Some on our team like the CeraVe Daily Moisturizing Solution because it’s not overly oily or greasy, and it comes at a very reasonable price. I’ve also tried Tiege Hanley and VitaMen for my buddies Aaron Marino and Antonio Centeno. My wife is really into skincare and loves Beautypedia because they tell you exactly what works for what kind of skin. Because, in truth, not all skincare products work for all types of skin. And so what works for you may not work for me and vice versa.

General Skincare Tips

1. Drink lots of water throughout the day because proper hydration makes your skin look young and supple, and hydrated.
2. Get sufficient sleep, which is about eight hours from most people, give or take. So, how is your sleep impacting your skin or the way you look? Well, a lack of sleep can cause an imbalance of hydration around your eyes. It leads to dark circles or eye rings that make you look tired and just older and worn out more. A lack of sleep also contributes to the stress and strain on your body, which makes us age even faster.
3. Last but not least, wear sunscreen, avoid prolonged sun exposure, and use a moisturizer daily.

I know it’s all easier said than done. Personally, I drink a lot of water, and I get enough sleep. But I have challenges putting on sunscreen and moisturizer regularly.

Mistake #6: Wearing clothing as a uniform

Uniform dressing is a perfectly acceptable way for men who don’t want to think about their clothes and just wear something and go about their day. I think President Obama did that when he was in office. Uniform dressing is definitely not our style because we believe that a style should reflect how you feel. 

However, sometimes, you might find yourself in a rut where you simply don’t know what else to wear, and so you gravitate towards the same things over and over again. Also, as you age, those looks may be less flattering.

For example, look at young Alain Delone in the 1967 movie Le Samouraï. His à la mode, gray suit looks really elegant because it highlights his youthfulness and his built. The plainness of his suit is intentional as to not distract from his figure. The exact same suit and the same color can look very conventional and boring on a middle-aged man.

To make an outfit appear livelier without aging yourself in the process, we advocate for using color and texture in your outfit. Why? Because it will zest up your look and will probably be more fun and satisfying.

Especially in casual settings, Don’t be afraid to go out there, try and experiment. That means pastel colors during the warmer months of the year and darker, jewel-tone colors during the year’s colder months. Also, experiment with patterns such as checks, Prince of Wales, and stripes, and don’t feel like you have to always stick with solids. Also, rich textures such as tweed or flannel can be much more interesting than the same plain worsted fabrics you’re used to from your business suits.

Even if you are in more formal settings, you can still play with your accessories here. A relatively conservative pairing of a light blue shirt in a grey suit has been colorfully accessorized and striking with subdued weight. But there is another side of color and pop for middle-aged men, especially when it involves too much of a good thing, which brings us to the next pitfall to avoid.

Mistake #7: Wearing flashy things

While plain clothing can fade middle-aged men into the background, loud and bold colors can make you look gaudy. If something makes you feel good when you wear it, go ahead and wear it because you can in this day and age without major life consequences.

However, if you’re wearing flashy clothes to regain your youth, you’re not going to fool anyone. Also, too much color and vibrancy can give off the impression that you’re trying to look younger, which in turn makes you look older. Just like with the trendy haircuts we mentioned earlier. 

Extreme fashion-forward clothes, bold lime, and pink colors, as well as exaggerated slim cuts, are not something that is typically associated with the seasoned maturity and self-awareness of middle-aged men.

For that reason, once you hit middle-age, go through your closet. Get rid of those old 90s ties, those blazers that are just not you anymore, and they don’t flatter you. At the same time, don’t just buy new clothes that are made for 20-year old’s. But, try to find something with more texture and subdued colors and classic patterns that will stand the test of time.

Mistake #8: Wearing clunky comfort shoes

The wear and tear on a middle-aged body, along with the gain and confidence that comes with age, can often lead men to wear nothing but comfortable shoes. And when I say that, I mean physically comfortable shoes because there’s also an aspect of psychological comfort. Obviously, we dress for ourselves, but a choice of shoes can make or break an outfit.

Some of the worst offenders of comfort shoes are typical tennis or workout shoes, as well as those clunky, square-toed slip-ons that men like to wear when they get a little older. The fact of the matter is that you can achieve the same or similar level of comfort with much better-looking dress shoes.

Obviously, if you need to wear orthopedic shoes for medical reasons and you cannot afford a bespoke shoe from an orthopedic shoemaker, by all means, go ahead and wear them. We just don’t want anyone to think that comfortable shoes are, per se, tennis shoes and ugly, but comfortable shoes can also be high-quality leather shoes.

It’s the same thing with suits. Many men think that dress shoes or suits are, per se, uncomfortable. In fact, just cheap, poorly constructed suits and dress shoes are uncomfortable, not the higher quality, better ones.

I get it. The black Oxfords have their time and place but maybe think about a loafer if you want more casual footwear. Maybe boat shoes or a chukka boot. Likewise, driving mocs or a tassel or a derby shoe can look really good. They can be quite comfortable, especially if you utilize insoles. Orthopedic shoemakers can also work things into existing quality shoes. 

Mistake #9: Not embracing one’s age

As we said in the beginning, middle-age can be an incredible time for gentlemen. Sadly, someone insists that they cling to their past. Conversely, others accept defeat, and they consider being middle-aged the start of being old and the end of life as they knew it. They consign themselves to old, boring style to boring thoughts and activities, and that in itself will make them older faster.

For the self-aware gentleman, however, middle-age is the age of abiding friendships, loving partners, and great achievements, and a whole new world to explore. And he wouldn’t waste a minute of it by allowing himself to be artificially aged by bad habits.

Does middle-age excite or scare you? Let us know how you feel about aging and if you’re guilty of these mistakes in the comment section!